Online porn is taking it’s toll on relationships according to new research that shows that 71% of men would rather have sex with themselves, by watching online porn, than with their spouses.   “What we got here is failure to communicate” ! This is getting way out of hand but the underlying reasons may not be what you suspect.Online porn is everywhere on the Internet and although most sites require payment there are some sites that scam people into their portal by promising free videos only to get their personal information and then either SPAM them or plan spyware on their PC.   So why would men prefer self gratification instead of making love with their spouses ?

Well look no further than the clock.  Time is the new currency and with more working couples a lot of people don’t feel like it when their spouse does and vice versa.  Then there are the interruptions that can ruin a love making session.  I find it hard with two dogs I can imagine what it’s like if you have kids in the house.   Finally there is age.  What a lot of couples don’t know is that as we age we can’t just hop in the sack and perform like a stud.  Men need more sexual stimulation as they get older but a lot of men reach for Viagra because they believe they have a problem.   As women age they too need more time to get stimulated but again who wants to be away from their smartphone for that long ?

This is why a lot more couples still go on vacations to exotic locations; they want to spend more time naked together.  If you want intimacy than you have to make time for it.  This means no distractions, no interruptions, no thinking about your work email.  It means concentrating on your spouse.

Those men who get aroused when they turn on their computer are missing a lot but today it’s about quantity and not quality all too often.

Did you ever wonder why we can turn on the TV and see people blown away in violence but God forbid that you see the naked butt of someone getting in the shower ?  When Janet Jackson had her wardrobe malfunction you would have thought that America was going to become corrupt and immoral because viewers saw a nipple !  The truth is that the human body is beautiful and we should more in tune with seeing people naked than seeing people blown to bits on violent TV shows.

When I visited the British Virgin Islands years ago it tool me awhile to get used to people sun bathing and swimming au natural.  To them. mostly Europeans, it was no big deal, but you could easily spot the Americans on the beach because they more often than not were the ones who were covered up.

When I was stationed in England, in the Air Force, I often wondered why a lot of American TV shows were not being aired and then I read that most people in the British Aisles felt that American TV shows were too violent.   You could often watch a British TV show with nudity but very rarely could you watch a TV show with a lot of violence.

The truth is that the more we hide nudity and demonize sex the more that people are going to go underground to learn why it’s “such a bad thing” in our society.  Most cable TV shows like HBO’s Boardwalk Empire do have nudity but it is tastefully done.  I doubt that people watch it catch a glimpse of some “T and A’.

The other thing that a lot of people have to learn is that there is a big difference between “making love” and “having sex”.   Men can have sex without emotional connections but most woman need that emotional connection and frankly making love is more intense than just having sex.   Today, however, most couples don’t have the time to really make love with cuddling, talking and foreplay.   We want instant gratification so we can get back to our smartphones and not miss a Facebook or Twitter update.  That’s one reason why I don’t allow any electronic devices in the bedroom after 7PM.

As much sex as there is on TV, movies and magazines you would think that people knew how to do it better.  However recent research has suggested that most adult men and women do not understand their sexuality.  For example it takes women more time to become aroused than men and as men age they need more sexual stimulation to become aroused not Viagra or Cialis.

The other thing that a lot of men don’t understand is that there is a direct correlation between health and your sex life.  If you exercise and eat right you have a higher probability of having a better sex life than someone who is a couch potato.

The recession has placed more emphasis on families and relationships but in order to really maximize them we need to invest more time of ourselves.  It starts with a better understanding of our bodies and not being afraid to see a couple making love on TV, that should not upset us.  What should upset us is the images of people randomly shooting each other and the violence that we have come to take too much for granted.

Related articles

• Natalie Portman Talks Sex and Nudity in V Magazine (popsugar.com)
• Keira Doesn’t Mind a Little Nudity (popsugar.com)
• What do you Think about Nudity? (mybyeworld.wordpress.com)
• I there a “good” way to use nudity in breast cancer awareness ads? (osocio.org)
• Nudity and profanity debated by U.S. Supreme Court (theprovince.com)

Violence as a way of achieving racial justice is both impractical and immoral. It is impractical because it is a descending spiral ending in destruction for all. The old law of an eye for an eye leaves everybody blind. It is immoral because it seeks to humiliate the opponent rather than win his understanding; it seeks to annihilate rather than to convert. Violence is immoral because it thrives on hatred rather than love. It destroys a community and makes brotherhood impossible. It leaves society in monologue rather than dialogue. Violence ends by defeating itself. It creates bitterness in the survivors and brutality in the destroyers.

- Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

I recently talked with someone who came back from a trip to the British Virgin Islands and she was quite surprised that at the resort they were staying at some European bathers decided to swim and sun bathe au natural.   Only Americans can watch people getting blown up on TV and endless crime drama’s but get really upset when someone dare shows a a naked breast or bottom.   Maybe if we showed more nudity and less violence people would make love not war.

I have to admit that when I was down in the Virgin Islands I was also surprised, at first, at naked couples sun bathing or sailing on small boats.  After awhile though it didn’t really mean that much because I am not uptight about the human body or sex the way most Americans seem to be.

When I was in the Air Force and stationed in England in the late 70′s I was surprised to see frequent nudity on TV but even though there were some American TV shows they sensored out the violence.   When the whole scandal around President Clinton broke most Europeans could not understand why we were calling for impeachment over a blow job.  To them it was a personal and private matter between a man and his wife.

I don’t think there is anything more beautiful than spending time naked with your spouse or partner.  Statistics show that we are not only not doing that enough we’re not taking the time to do it right probably because Americans don’t really understand their sexuality and have been programmed to believe that sex is dirty and nasty.   More sex and less violence could probably have a calming effect on a whole lot of people who often get violent and nasty because of sexual frustration.

A lot of people like skinny dipping and getting natural with nature but too many people seem to see this as dirty

One of the biggest dirty little secrets of the business world that all to often those who haven’t done much get to positions where they try and influence those who are trying to do it.   To me experience is a valuable teacher and those who don’t have experience should not be telling those of us who are doing it how to do it.

I recently read a press release that a PR firm had hired someone from a company as their VP of PR for health. Now I’m happy that this person is moving up but when you look at his credentials he has never worked on or launched a brand and left his company just as they were getting ready to launch a new product against some heavy competition.  In other words no experience in results that matter.

With the explosive growth of social media comes the bottom feeder experts who get their ego stroked by trade magazines.  When you ask them to provide how they actually helped drive business needs and meet business objectives they’ll try and confuse you with vanity metrics or double talk.  But this is what they do because they get money from it and money drives too many damn decisions.

When I read recently that more MBA students were itching to join Goldman Sach’s I was stunned.  I mean these guys are scumbags and have no ethics at all.   So why would so many MBA students want to join Goldman ? Because most students are going to graduate with huge debt and to them you need lots of money to live the American dream.  Why work 10 years to get ahead when you could make huge bonuses by getting on both sides of the economy ?

One thing that Gordon Gekko said that sticks with me from the movie Wall Street “Give me people who are hungry and know how to get things done”.  He was a greedy SOB but he was right about that !

1. You feel like taking on something new. That’s a great sign that you are getting healthier. It shows a heightened energy level and more active mentality. You are obviously ready for new challenges that you weren’t ready for before you became fitter. 
2.You notice a new pep in your step. Things are becoming easier for you. Gravity isn’t pulling you to the ground as easily, and maybe your mood isn’t either. You have some new resilience.
3. Your clothes are fitting differently. Maybe your clothes are looser; maybe they are tighter over your growing muscles. Whichever way it is, be sure and take note and dress to impress. Wearing the same old stuff from your closet that no longer fits is discouraging. Wearing better fitting clothes, be they from a store or a friend, will always make you feel and look better.
4. Your medical test scores are improving. My triglycerides, cholesterol, blood sugar levels, and thyroid readings have all changed since I’ve lost weight. Even when I plateau for months at a time (frustrating!), those tests tell me I’m going in the right direction medically.
5. You start taking that one extra step. Usually the saying is to “Go the extra mile.” I say “Go the extra step.” A mile is a long way, but if you even find yourself having the energy to take that extra step, congratulate yourself. You are building on something. A journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step.
6. You look for ways to make other’s lives easier. If you are looking for ways to pay it forward and make other’s lives easier, then your needs are met. That’s a great sign! According to Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, the basic needs of a human have to be met in order to even consider outer social relationships, such as kindness and love. In my opinion, if you find yourself doing random acts of kindness, be assured you are blessed and well. I don’t think we can afford to forget the connection of mind, body, and spirit as a human whole in wellness.
7. You feel more positive and energetic. That is a natural by product of getting healthier. The body starts working better and when it does, it releases feel good chemicals in the brain, delivers energy to the cells more efficiently, and you feel better day by day.
8.Your hair, skin and nails start to look marvelous. As a result of getting the right nutrients into your body, your body will start to look better all over. Not only will you lose/gain weight on a proper nutrition plan, but your hair, skin and nails will start to look lustrous too. Have you ever had someone tell you to take a certain supplement and your nails/hair will grow? Well, they aren’t far off. Nutrients are known to feed the hair and nails, even though they are technically dead. They still come from a living hair follicle and a living nail bed. Skin is very much alive and in need of nutrients. After all, look at how much skin you have.

9. You look forward to your workout time. This is definitely a good sign. Your body is craving movement and the endorphins it brings. Endorphins are feel-good chemicals released in the brain that bust stress during and after exercise. The more you move the more you will crave moving. This will lead to a healthier cardiovascular system, leaner muscles, a brighter mindset, and weight control.
10. You crave healthier fare. If you are starting to think a fresh banana sounds better than banana chips, you are well on your way. Is your chocolate getting a bit darker these days? Are you choosing food closer to its natural state or cutting out soda and liking it? Good for you! Progress not perfection! Keep changing the little things and the bigger lifestyle change will come.

As you can see, the scale is not the final decision maker as to whether you are getting healthier on your health plan. YOU are. Look for and celebrate the little things that you find new to your life.